• Alex Alexander

He Is The Closest I've Ever Come To Finding Forever: 5 Things I Learned On My Way To love


Being born on valentines day certainly kills the novelty of the holiday itself. Its a plastic, pink, candy coated, packaged and purchased, commercialized caricature of romance all wrapped in the heightened expectations of claiming or being claimed by that one person you hope holds you most dear. I've never really experienced any shortage of love. In fact, i'm almost sure that my perceptions on the subject are some of the most honest and unbiased you'll care to read. Because I used to think that love owed me some storybook perfect romance. I used to think that I was unworthy of whatever I imagined true love to be and feel like. I was already born into the love of a tightly knit family and a few true friends who cherish me unconditionally but what would become of romance?, I wondered. Where do I find love and loyalty here amidst the robots behind this throwaway culture? But now, nearly 5 years into the most dedicated and secure relationships i've ever experienced, I take the time to say that on this day and everyday, I am grateful to share this journey with a soul as faithful and steadfast as the one i know in him.

Heres a list of the top 5 things I learned while on my way to love.

1. You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup

I knew if I were to ever fall in love with someone else, I first had to fall in love with myself. I would have to become my own first true love and I don't mean this in some narcissistic notion of ego stroking but more in a be your biggest supporter kind of way. Nurture your every facet no matter how unsavory your quirks my be to others. this practice of self love keeps you full and ultimately breeds confidence. And confidence is attractive. You find strength in being a one of a kind force with the capacity to love and be loved. You've already done the hardest part and that is discovering that you cannot acquire outwardly what isn't present inwardly.

2. Stop Looking And Start Seeing

Its one thing to have standards but when you begin to impose certain stipulations and expectations upon love and what it means to be in it, you begin to lessen your chances of coming face to face with a kindred soul. Love won't always present itself to you in the way you think it should. It's often difficult and indecisive. It puts up a bit of a fight and makes you shaky and vulnerable. If genuinely intrigued, Your willingness to see this process through will be rewarding. You'll either add one more thing to your list of standards or you get the pleasure of engaging in a beautifully complex and delicately transformative experience with a being who mirrors all your good intentions.

3. Whatever Will Be Will Be

Lets say you're finally treading lightly but surely along the path to loves promise and you wonder, wheres this thing going?. Theres nothing wrong with seeking clarity but regardless of any given answer to that question, the greatest teller of fate is time. If it is meant to be then consider it done. You can't force a sure thing. They go down if and when they're supposed to. Just be ready when love decides to move in your favor.

4. Brutal Honesty

Most people only attest to the brighter more idealized sides of being in love. But the truth is, that shit ain't for the faint hearted. Real love gut checks you every chance it gets. It challenges you to grow in matters of sincerity and communication. It motivates you to articulate and extract truth from reckless emotion. Requited love makes sense of being vulnerable. Insanity, it takes you through it and brings you out of it simultaneously. Love is a sometimes bitter remedy to all that ails you; Its transformative and healing. and won't allow you to take it for granted,

5. Enjoy Every Moment

Now you're in the throes of love. And No matter what love takes you through, if you are able to identify it for yourself then consider yourself to be luckier than most. Remember its more about a journey than a destination. Love is beautiful and spontaneous, fluid and familiar.. It may be tested but should never be stressed or stressful. So remember to keep it light while loving hard and deeply. Celebrate each other for your differences as well as your similarities. Remember to embrace the intimacy in every instance. Make eye contact, give longer hugs, verbally affirm your loyalty to one another, make love all over the place, smoke and meditate, pray for and with your partner, make space,travel and simply relate. These things make the work worth doing. and will always keep you both choosing love above all else.


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